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It has been a while since I wrote anything here. Too many things have happened, not all of them I can really share with anyone else. Self-censorship is a version of hell – worse because it is your own thoughts that you imprison before anyone else has heard/read/seen them. You stop yourself from expressing what needs to run out the door to find its own path, its own world that might or might not welcome it.

As far as I know there are no birds, even flightless ones, who pluck out their own feathers. Tragic characters in old narratives pluck out their eyes.

Not long ago I wrote a short poem whose title was longer than the body. Not a lot of journals or magazines accept short poetry (or Haiku, or whatever this particular beast might be called). And this rambling post was not meant to be an introduction for the piece. I just remembered it. The same way things that have no connection to what I am busy with suddenly enter my thoughts – like when I was mowing the lawn earlier I suddenly realized I hadn’t written birthday poems for our twins. They are now ten and I owe them at least a poem for each year that has passed. The next thought was “Maybe I can write the poems backwards.” Who knows that that means? The lawnmower blade got stuck with thick grass and I had to deal with it. The thought passed.


The poem has two versions, so I shall post them both here.


I Took a Walk and Came Home a Stranger in the Dark

cold night, hum of stars
my feet stick out the blanket
soon enough, sunrise


cold night, hum of stars
blanket’s too short for my feet
soon enough, sunrise


About matangmanok

Jim Pascual Agustin writes and translates poetry. Sometimes he tries his hand at essays and stories. His latest book is BLOODRED DRAGONFLIES, published by Deep South in South Africa. Check out the official blog page for Bloodred Dragonflies. In 2011 the University of Santo Tomas Publishing House in Manila released BAHA-BAHAGDANG KARUPUKAN (poems in Filipino) and ALIEN TO ANY SKIN (poems in English). The same publisher released his most recent poetry collections SOUND BEFORE WATER and KALMOT NG PUSA SA TAGILIRAN. In 2015 a new poetry collection in English, A THOUSAND EYES was released. His first collection of short stories in Filipino, SANGA SA BASANG LUPA, was released in 2016. UK publisher The Onslaught Press launches his poetry collection, WINGS OF SMOKE, worldwide in February 2017. San Anselmo Publications released HOW TO MAKE A SALAGUBANG HELICOPTER & OTHER POEMS in 2019 followed by CROCODILES IN BELFAST & OTHER POEMS in 2020 - both books can be purchased through their Facebook page. View all posts by matangmanok

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